Includes bibliographical references (pages 303-309) and index.

Introduction: Courageous parenting--taking the long view -- Pt. 1: Authentic success: it's not about bleeding hearts versus tiger moms. The kids are not alright (and neither are their parents) ; How did we get into this mess? -- Pt. 2: The "school years" are not just about academics: a primer on child development. The tasks of the elementary school years: ages 5-11. Learning how to make friends and be a friend ; Becoming competent and excited about learning ; Developing a sense of self: who am I? ; Becoming an empathic person ; Remembering to play ; General recommendations for parenting your elementary school age child -- The tasks of the middle school years: ages 11-14. Navigating puberty ; Staying healthy ; Building independence ; Building a peer group ; Note to parents -- The tasks of the high school years; ages 14-18. Becoming an adult thinker ; Learning to manage sexuality ; Building a sense of identity ; Developing autonomy -- Pt. 3: The resilience factor: seven essential coping skills. Teaching our kids to find solutions. Resourcefulness: "I can handle this" instead of "Mom--" ; Enthusiasm: "I love this" instead of "Whatever" ; Creativity: "Let's look at this differently" not "What's the right answer?" ; A good work ethic: "I'm going to keep at it" instead of "I quit" -- Teaching our kids to take action. Self-control: "It just doesn't feel right" instead of "All the kids are doing it" ; Self-esteem: "l feel good about myself" instead of "I suck" ; Self-efficacy: "I can make a difference" instead of "Nothing I do matters" -- Pt. 4: Walking the talk. Defining and living your family values: a paper and pencil exercise. What are your core values? ; Family values statement ; Your guiding principles ; The family action plan -- Editing the script: becoming the parents we want to be. Denial: "Problem? What problem?" ; Projection: "Yeah, they've got a problem, not me" ; Peer pressure: it's not just for teenagers ; Is parenting hereditary? "I can't believe I sound just like my mother" ; The trinity of change: self-reflection, empathy, and flexibility.